Introduction: "Who we think we are and who we really are are very, very different."
This overview is a beginning. Our Infinite Divine, our Inner Spirit is not defined by what we think. In a book by don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, the author refers to our life as if we are living in a dream. A dream that has been shaped by our culture with values placed on greed, defines beauty for us, and creates a victim mentality. However, we should not be defined by this dream, or be defined based on what society says is the truth. Our truth resides in us. Our experiences or our thoughts about our experiences, do not define us. Our thoughts are just an interpretation of the world around us, but often do not represent the essence of us. Each person has a Spirit, a Soul, a link to the Universe and it is this Divine from which we begin. To connect with this infinite light within us and to lead from this place, where we are connected with our inner essence, our loving self and embrace the world from this sacred space, is to be mindful. To know our true worth and value by starting from a place of mindfulness is one of the most powerful and loving gifts one can give.
Attitude of Non-Judging: Paying Attention Non-Judgmentally!
Cultivating a presences of mind that allows one to look at life from a point of view of open mindedness is healthy. To be non-judgmental is actually a release. It is so relaxing to be able to no longer look for ways to judge others or situations and label them as good or bad, happy or sad. To release the action of labeling and enter into a situation looking for connections and commonalities rather than any differences, is freeing. To no longer define situations as good or bad, happy or sad, right or wrong and to proceed with openness, clarity and wisdom is empowering. A part of this is also creating a space in which people are safe to share. It is an invitation to connect. It tears down walls or preconceived ideas brought to the table because of past hurt or baggage. It allows a person to enter into conflict with an open mind and an open heart and from that beginning, people can begin a dialogue of solutions while establishing common ground, compassion and understanding. To truly connect, we need to be free from judgement.
Attitude of Letting Go- Let Be!
Brene' Brown talks about how we fear and avoid joy because if we experience joy, deep down we fear it will end and suffer. We push joy out of our lives because if we feel it too deeply, the feeling of intense joy can be pulled away so abruptly causing pain and loss. So, we beat it to the punch and avoid joy. But, in that, we suffer. Celebrating the joyful, "Life is Good" moments is a gift. It builds strength so that we can endure the dark days. To avoid joy is to accept fear based thinking. Another way to define the Fixed Mindset in comparison to the Growth Mindset. I love how Jon Kabat Zinn reminds us to "Let go and let be". We can often hold onto our fears too tightly and in that, we create more of what we fear. We begin to focus on the what we don't have rather than accept and embrace all that we do. Surrender, let go and let be.
There is always something to be grateful for. Even the challenges and hardships in life allow us to grow if we are open minded and mindful. In the act of giving to others creates wonderful reminders of how life is filled with goodness and connection. A ripple effect happens when we can lead with generosity and gratitude. If we can make another person feel loved, appreciated, or valued, we are, in essence, creating more good in the world and allowing the Universe to bring love back to us. Giving is getting. The Beatles, wrote a song entitled, The End and in it, is this quote:
“...And in the end, the love we take is equal to the love we make.”
This is the connectedness and Karma that relates to mindfulness. To give of oneself with generosity and gratitude is to create a life filled with love and acceptance. It embraces the goodness in life. We can acknowledge the pain and the suffering, but know when we invest in gratitude and generosity, the struggles can be met with an abundance of love. Brene' Brown has a quote that reflects this idea too.
"...At the end of the day, I want to know that I contributed more than I criticized."
Choose kindness, gratitude and generosity. For the alternative is riddled with fear, anxiety and bitterness. Choose to be mindful of your contribution and mindset of gratitude. Find the little things to be grateful for and share your generosity with others. It will make the world a better place, but more importantly, it will increase your emotional well-being and healing. When you get, give. When you learn, teach. Ask yourself, what are you grateful for and what are your contributions today?
Attitude of Patience: Trust in the Divine!
Everything has a purpose and will come with time. If we allow ourselves to be patient, we can be in the present moment and find joy in the presence. I have noticed this while waiting for a light to change at a stop light. The old me would feel anxious about my need to move and go. With mindfulness, I notice that the moments of waiting are opportunities to connect. I can connect with my Spirit while waiting. I can connect with my daughter while waiting. I can observe nature while waiting. I can be in the moment. Often times, by being impatient, I can lose an opportunity. I push the Universe to work rather than being open and allow the Universe to "unfold" with a presence of mind.
Beginners Mind: Fresh like a flower... this moment is anew!
I love this. It allows a person to venture back into childhood and innocence. When a person can view a situation with fresh eyes, with non-judgmental eyes, letting go of old baggage and fears, it is a new and rich opportunity to be in the present moment! If a person can enter into conflict, a new change at work, a new expectation or problem with a beginners mind, there is only one way to go and that is up. What a gift to see the world with a filter of freshness and no bitterness from past experiences. Does it mean we move forward with blinders on? No. We know failure is an option yet we choose to look at a situation with optimism and a belief that all is well and to begin the journey. How freeing and joyful an experience is when a person can enter with such bright and fresh eyes. It is another way, in my mind, of embracing change and living with a Growth Mindset.
Attitude of Trust: We are born with everything we need!
This attitude reminds me to let go and trust that I have what I need to be happy, healthy and that I am worthy of love. I can trust myself to handle difficulty and adversity. I can trust myself as I create a life surrounded by love. I begin with my own self worth and treat myself with tenderness. I love myself by the friends I choose to invest in. I trust that I can hold myself within a sacred space of love and light. I trust that I can make a positive impact on the lives of my students, family and friends. I trust that I can lovingly embrace my worth and find value in my imperfections and vulnerabilities. I trust my Spirit to guide me and to allow the Universe to flow through me without barriers or fear. I trust that when I do need support, I am not alone. Trust in oneself. So powerful to know that with my Spirit and loving trust, I am free and limitless.
Attitude of Acceptance
This one is a slippery slope. It is so easy to disengage out of fear, anger and a sense of powerlessness to change a situation. Any kind of suffering is often met with resistance and bitterness. To me, this relates to forgiveness. When we forgive another, we free ourselves from suffering. When we accept a burden or painful situation into our lives, it is the first step into healing. From there we can stop resisting and find our way to healing.
I love this because for so long I personally have struggled with the perception of not doing enough. In my heart, I often felt as though I was not enough. I remember the anxiety of not having enough fun, not having enough to do, not getting enough done, not entertaining others enough. In that frantic mindset, I lost what was. When we force moments to be filled with fun, joy, purpose and momentous events, we lose the little ordinary moments that make life rich.
I am learning that whether I am doing the dishes, going for a walk or going on an incredible vacation, it is the being connected in those moments with the ones around me that unfold and reveal life's goodness. Wherever I am, I have arrived. I am here now, living, breathing and benefiting from being. I am present in mind and allow the Universe to flow through me, with meaning, light, love and joy. I no longer try to force it. I am learning to flow with it and flow from within. Creative ideas and answers are born from this mindset and flow from this space. These are the steps that guide me into life's adventures.
