Letting Go of Thoughts That Can Weigh Us Down

There is a story I heard from a friend.  This is my paraphrased version of the story.

"Two monks were walking on the path.  They were on their way to a temple to meet their master.  Along their travels, an impatient princess appeared by a huge mud puddle.  As the monks approached, she yelled and demanded that they help her across the puddle so she wouldn't muddy her shoes or dress.   The monks, knowing that they were not allowed to touch another person, refused to help.  The princess was enraged and insulted the monks.  She reminded them that she was a princess and needed help.  The princess then became distraught and began to cry.  One monk took pity on her, lifted her up and carried her across the puddle. When they reached the other side, the princess left without even saying thank you.

The monk that stood by and witnessed the assistance to the princess, couldn't believe her behavior.  He thought she was so ungrateful and aggressive towards the monks.  The other monk who offered assistance, simply kept walking towards their temple.  The one monk kept talking about how rude the princess was.  He also spoke about the rule of no touching and how their master will be upset about the monk holding the princess.  This monk continued to speak about the incident and his frustration grew at the princess and her lack of gratitude.   For two miles he kept talking about this strange princess.  As they walked, the other monk remained silent.  Finally, the frustrated monk asked if the silent monk was worried about their master being upset at him for carrying the princess.  Finally, the silent monk spoke. He said, 'Why should I get in trouble for carrying the princess across the mud puddle.   I let go of her several miles ago.  It is you who has been carrying her much longer than I.' "

This story is symbolic for holding onto thoughts that can play on repeat in our mind and bring us down.  They may include resentment, negative self-talk or regret.  It is a reminder that I can truly choose to let go and move forward. I am learning to let go of resentment, negative self-talk and regret because these thoughts only hurt me, the person carrying them.  I have been like the monk that carried the thought of the princess for miles.  The princess has moved on, yet I remained stuck in the mud myself.  I am learning to change my thinking about these thoughts that tend to repeat in my mind in times of stress or can even sneak up on me when life is running smoothly.  I label these thoughts as "weight" that I am no longer obligated to carry.  If I am holding onto the past, I am being kept from enjoying the present.  I can choose to allow my thoughts to play repeat of what is no longer relevant to the possibility of today.

I am practicing holding myself with grace and self acceptance, even accepting and loving my imperfect self. When I have made mistakes in the past or someone has hurt me from long ago, I am choosing to recognize that they too, are on their own journey.  We are all simply doing the best we can with each of our imperfect selves.  When we learn better, we do better.

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I have this quote by my desk at school.  It reminds me that I can still be loving and kind even in the midst of chaos.  Whether this kindness makes an impact on others around me or not, does not matter.  Sharing love and kindness feeds my soul.  I do it for me, for my own spirit to shine because that is all I am in control of. My life's work isn't to learn how to be more manipulative, competitive, combative, resentful and angry. My life's work is to learn how to be more loving, connect to self and to contribute positively.  I can't get there by holding onto negative self-talk, resentment and regret.  I get there by letting those thoughts and feelings go.

I do this by not resisting these thoughts when they present themselves.  It is part of being human.  But, I choose to recognize them, observe them and weaken their hold on me through mindfulness practice.    If I find myself thinking with resentment, negative self-talk or regret, I remind myself that these feelings and thoughts get in the way of my life's work and happiness.  I identify them as "weight" that is temporary and weakening to my spirit.  That thinking in itself, re-wires my brain, strengthening my ability to let go of the past.

Thoughts to consider while learning how to let go:

• Realize everyone is on a journey too, you are only in charge of yours.
• Realize everyone's journey is different and yours is sacred. 
• Being right sometimes gets in the way of being at peace.
• I can be misunderstood and walk away peacefully knowing my own belief system defines me, not others.  Other people are on their own journey and struggle too.  I want to be compassionate and non-judgmental towards them and myself.    
• Holding onto resentment, anger and negative self-talk keeps you weighed down.
• This weight can prevent you from being a part of the present moment, finding joy today and feeling connected to spirit.
• When I can love and show kindness towards others, it is so I can connect to my higher-self and listen to my spirit.  
• The benefit of making connections and being understood in a positive way while sharing love and kindness is not guaranteed, but it feeds my soul anyway.  
• Let go of the need to be right and attachment to others providing you with acceptance.  It must come from within.  
• It is okay that others do not see me.  I see me and love what I see, regardless. 
• Your self-love and acceptance is powerful and can provide you with the ability to be at peace.  
• In the end, entering our present from this sacred place will enrich our lives and allows you to see and appreciate the beauty around you.